In my job, I tend to get contacted for more male behaviour problems than female.
Is this because males are more troublesome than females?
While there can be differences between male and female dogs, regarding certain hereditary traits and roles, it’s worth considering that the behaviour differences may also be because care givers have different treatment approaches for male and female dogs.
In my experience, I have noticed that caregivers often demonstrate a nurturing and empathetic approach when interacting with females, while taking a more disciplined approach when interacting with males, with an emphasis on fostering independence.
Caregivers generally approach interactions with females by using gentle stroking and being cautious about engaging in excessive play. In contrast, when interacting with males, caregivers often adopt a more hands-on approach to management, utilising rougher patting and actively participating in activities like wrestling and rough housing. Female caregivers often have a lower tolerance for biting compared to male caregivers, individual approaches to managing male and female dogs can vary based on personal preferences and experiences. It is crucial to understand that these observations should not be interpreted as stereotypes or sexism, but rather as general tendencies.
During walks, I see handlers exhibiting a higher level of caution when it comes to approaching female socialisation as puppies, particularly when they reach sexual maturity around intact males. This caution is primarily to avoid any unintended pregnancies. As a result, females may be given more distance during their adolescent period, where anxiety and potential fear can be heightened, possibly having a positive impact on their socialisation experiences.
If play with other dogs becomes overly boisterous, caregivers often choose to move females on sooner, recognizing their discomfort. On the other hand, with males, if they display uncertainty or fear, there is often more pressure on them to continue the interaction in order to overcome their fears. Similar to the treatment of children, boys are often encouraged to exhibit traits of strength, independence, and confidence. These gender stereotypes can also influence the way dogs are perceived and treated by caregivers.
When it comes to neutering, male dogs are often neutered with the expectation that it will help address unwanted behaviors such as marking or humping, and there is a belief that it may also calm them down. It’s important to note that humping behavior is not solely driven by hormones, and it can be observed in both male and female dogs. While many females exhibit this behavior, neutering is not always the first solution that comes to mind. Humping can be a response to stress or high excitement levels in dogs of both genders. Neutering to address health problems in dog maybe a secondary consideration from a dog owners point of view. On the other hand, females are typically spayed to prevent pregnancy, certain health issues, or to manage hormonal imbalances.
Each and every dog is a unique individual with distinct needs, temperament, and preferences. It is crucial to prioritise their well-being and take into account their individuality and be careful not to manage their behaviour according to their gender. This is not intentional by any means, it’s just something to become self aware of. By approaching each dog as an individual, we can provide them with the optimal care, promoting their overall happiness and fulfillment.
If you would like to chat with me or get support with your dog or puppy book in a call with me below.
Hi Guys so we are in the midst of the COVID 19 lockdown, I have been putting off writing anything about this subject because we was not quite sure how long it was going on but I think unfortunately lockdown will not be ending anytime soon. I have had lots of thoughts running around in my mind that you might have concerns with and what concerns I have regarding when lockdown ends for your dog. Socialisation, separation and concern about overtired/over aroused dogs are all covered below.
Firstly I have pulled out some key points from the British Veterinary Association their info graphics are below too. The current strain of Coronavirus is a result of Human-to-human transmission, there is absolutely no evidence that companion animals can spread the disease. Current evidence suggests Covid-19 has a wild animal source however this still remains under investigation. It is also thought it might be possible the virus could be carried on fur from humans that are infected/carrying the virus, for a short period of time in the same way it is on other surfaces, such as tables and doorknobs, this could apply to their harnesses as well. The main advice for animal owners is continue to practise good hand hygiene by washing your hands thoroughly (for 20 seconds with soap and water) after touching your pet and also not letting them interact with other dogs or people that do not live with you. If someone else is walking your dog for you for what ever reason, please carefully still follow social distancing rules and hygiene advice. Have a bag with all your dog equipment in, that you do not need to touch and the dog walker can take and bring back.
All veterinary practices are now required to limit face-to-face contact with clients. This means running an emergency care and emergency prescription service, some are still providing food and doing necessary vaccinations but this is branch dependent. So avoid putting your dog at unnecessary risk.
Food
If you run out of food dogs can eat human food they did evolve from our discarded food after all! However try and find alternative healthy complete dog foods, if you can rather than making your own, often getting the balance right of nutrients and what your specific dog needs is difficult. It’s always good to add fresh veg and fruit (in moderation) to your dogs dinner a minimum of 3 times a week anyway, this helps with gut health, a healthy gut helps with behaviour too! If you have to change food try and do it gradually if possible, I know this might be difficult don’t worry if it’s not feasible it just to avoid tummy upset. If your dog is on a special diet speak to your vet to see if they can suggest a good alternative. If you are struggling with costs http://www.trussellstrust.org are able to provide pet supplies for people who need it.
Difficult time for all
I know this is a stressful time for all of us but believe it or not it will be for our dogs too. Dogs pick up on our mood state so if the behaviour has changed it can be due to this, be mindful to try and take them out when you are feeling not so tense, as handling of the lead can then change the walk and can be unpleasant for your dog and in turn you, as they are likely to pull more or be hyper vigilant to things in the environment if the lead is tense. Some dogs will love you being home but others will be overwhelmed because everyone is there all day, they may not be getting the rest they need. There will be more people interacting with the dog, whether it’s kids constantly playing or teasing them or multiple adults managing unwanted behaviour, if this is not managed right you can have a stressed dog on your hands. Overtired, overexcited or frustrated dogs can lead to bites, statistic are usually higher during school holiday periods so this isolation period will be no different.
Routine
Dogs do appear to have an inbuilt time clock seeming to recognise the difference between week days and weekends (our actions and body language is more likely what influences this the most) however if we treat everyday as a weekend when lockdown is over some dogs are going to struggle. Each dog is different when it comes to routine sometimes a strict adherence to routine creates anxiety issues when all of a sudden they have a day where the routine gets thrown out the window, dogs which suffer from separation anxiety or isolation distress, are extremely aware of routine events that predict your leaving, which triggers their anxiety. What I am mainly suggesting is stick to a version of your normal routine for your working week, feeding your dog when you normally would and walking them. Obviously this will be different if you have a dog sitter but you can do activities in the same way without the socialisation aspect. Don’t walk your dogs more than you usually walk them unless you can sustain this after lock down otherwise when it’s over they will find it difficult when you go back to work, this is unfair and definitely do not make them walk more if they are refusing. Change for the future is inevitable things will not be exactly the same when restrictions are lifted, dogs do adapt but their are somethings to consider for getting through this period with ease for both parties.
Sleep
I have just posted a very detailed video on YouTube on this specific subject “Is your dog getting enough sleep” but some key points are below. With everyone home everyone may be interacting with your dog more than normal but be mindful sleep is vital to mood state dogs should be sleeping through the night and having regular undisturbed good quality naps in the day. Children and adults should be leaving the dog alone when they are resting or sleeping. Puppies need around 18-20 hours sleep and adult dogs need around 12-14 hours of sleep a day. Lack of rest and sleep can effect behaviour.
Alone Time
If you do not normally work from home, some separation and being unavailable is going to be important for your dog at this time, even for the people that do, you are probably at home more than normal. Absence from your dog is important for the ones that used to it but even for the ones that are not like those of you that have new puppies or ones that have existing separation related problems the following exercises will help:
Provide searching and foraging activities in a different room/garden than you are in (safe activities of course) not shutting them in there unless they are comfortable with this, just aiding with a little separation from each other. There is a link further below for lots of ideas but one simple foraging activity is to put out lots of cardboard boxes in a group on the floor or a box filled with safe recycling items in and scatter their dinner or healthy treats, for them to sniff out and find (for nervous dogs make it easy with not to many boxes or items to start with) put out a snuffle mat at the same time, if you have one too and leave them to it no encouraging or cheering them on, the idea is they decide if they want to and they can choose to be away from you.
If you have a Kong another option is to put a rope through the small hole end of it and tie a knot. Stuff the Kong with something they have to lick, then tie the long end of the rope to a piece of secure furniture (with no risk to the dog) in a different room again where you are not, I usually suggest having something comfortable for the dog to lie on, near it. If you have a chewer or a dog that gets easily frustrated this might not be the right activity for them.
If you do not normally work from home, some separation and being unavailable is going to be important for your dog at this time, even for the people that do, you are probably at home more than normal. Absence from your dog is important for the ones that used to it but even for the ones that are not like those of you that have new puppies or ones that have existing separation related problems the following exercises will help:
Provide searching and foraging activities in a different room/garden than you are in (safe activities of course) not shutting them in there unless they are comfortable with this, just aiding with a little separation from each other. There is a link further below for lots of ideas but one simple foraging activity is to put out lots of cardboard boxes in a group on the floor or a box filled with safe recycling items in and scatter their dinner or healthy treats, for them to sniff out and find (for nervous dogs make it easy with not to many boxes or items to start with) put out a snuffle mat at the same time, if you have one too and leave them to it no encouraging or cheering them on, the idea is they decide if they want to and they can choose to be away from you.
If you have a Kong another option is to put a rope through the small hole end of it and tie a knot. Stuff the Kong with something they have to lick, then tie the long end of the rope to a piece of secure furniture (with no risk to the dog) in a different room again where you are not, I usually suggest having something comfortable for the dog to lie on, near it. If you have a chewer or a dog that gets easily frustrated this might not be the right activity for them.
Those of you that have puppies that you are concerned about or a dog that struggles to be alone and you are worried about the impact, this is actually a good time to work on separation. The first thing we as behaviourists would advise is not to leave them alone at all and build on separation within the house and them being relaxed first, working in leaving them for seconds rather than minutes.
As well as the above points other places to start would be:
Within the house just going to simple places like the toilet or shower and closing the door. If they struggle and get distressed about this in anyway, have a treat pot in the toilet, pick up a handful, drop treats outside toilet door and shut the door every time you need to go.
When you need a bath or shower have a kong/chew ready and ask them to lie down on the bed whilst you go to the shower. If you have a dog/puppy that does get distressed leave the door open building on closing it but giving them an activity to do in another room close to the shower.
The important thing with separation training is you going in casually and come out casually. This is what you eventually need to do when leaving the house, this is not about ignoring them it’s about making it no big deal, so it’s normal. You do not want to be adding to how they feel, if you come out saying “I am so sorry I left you” verbally or in your body language, showing any anxiety yourselves, your dog will get distressed because you are.
Teaching a settle on a bed or blanket is also something that is useful to work on. You build on duration first and them truly relaxing and then build in doing short activities around them cleaning or when cooking building in distractions whilst they are still relaxed there. You would then work on distance but not aiming for the front door first, aim for them being at the kitchen door whilst you are at the cooker. Distance will be first before out of sight, before starting out of sight I always suggest to get a dog monitor or application if you have a smartphone and tablet, this enables you to watch for some of the subtle signals dogs give way before they start panting, becoming hyper vigilant, tense whining, barking or howling, you want to return to them before this whilst they are still chilled and relaxed. Do not force confinement or let them cry/whine/bark until they are quiet, this is outdated information it causes anxiety and high stress levels.
Periods of unavailability are important to, think about an activity you usually do and when you do it you dog often goes and rests away from you. Common times this happens (depending on the dog) are when you are on the phone, computer or reading a good book, you are usually completely unavailable and your dog often knows this because your body language indicates it. No eye contact, often looking away doing something else, so they often settle and rest, some almost relieved. It’s important to do activities where you are unavailable you cannot however fake this, you need to just go and do something else in the house. If you think about puppies we are on their case all the time watching them incase they wee or chew something and because of this some find it very difficult to settle in our company and this happens to adult dogs too, being unavailable sometimes is good to give your dog permission to just chill out.
If your dog is used to you going out if you can go out without them, I know there are limits around this but some alone time is important.
Play
To start with there is such a thing as too much play, contrary to popular belief play often does the opposite to tiring a puppy/dog out, it usually makes the dog or puppy over aroused, some frustrated because of how we play and we often play for far too long particularly with puppies, which can make them over tired, nippy and restless or worse. This lockdown is leaving some people bored, be careful not to over do it with your dog, there needs to be a balance between play, eating, sleeping, resting, mental and environmental stimulation and training. Some of the signs of play has gone on to long or the dog is over aroused are as detailed in the below images from the vet behaviour team, you want to end the game way before these occur:
Obviously yes it is important to make time to play with your dogs for short periods but not at times where you need to work or do stuff or you will have a dog that pesters you all the time. Do not leave kids playing unattended watch how the children are playing with the dog. It’s important if the dog is sitting just chewing on the toy or moving away with it that no one tries to grab the toy off them
Rather than constantly playing ball which can be over arousing, be careful of football too, play other games that provide them outlets for natural behaviours such as:
Searching for the ball; if your dog knows a stay ask them stay, throw the ball into long grass, count to 5 then release them to find it. Leave patches of grass to grow long for this game in your garden as well.
Hide a toy in the house or garden and then let your dog in/out to find it. For newbies make easy.
Tug ensure they win, ensure they are bringing it to you, when you are trying to instigate a game remember to use the toy as if it is prey, don’t waggle it in their face prey doesn’t do that, run it along the floor in zig zag movements keeping it low. Be careful not to make the game frustrating and ensure they are bringing it back to you, don’t grab it off them if they just try to take it away its not an invitation to take it.
Like us, dogs don’t enjoy being teased, nor do they understand the difference between our toys and theirs, so it’s best to keep any toys they shouldn’t play with safely out of their reach.
Outlets for natural behaviours
Dogs need outlets for their natural behaviours and what each dog likes is different. Digging, searching, hunting, foraging, sniffing, chewing, water play are all examples of what dogs need and there are lots of ways this can be done during this period. Searching for treats or scattering their dinner is just one way to tire them out as sniffing is stimulating to some dogs and often very tiring. Enrichment done right is actually what tires dogs out, this also will help prevent your puppy/dog becoming bored, restless and getting up to mischief. Here is a great blog for 100 days of enrichment whatever you choose it should be stimulating and not frustrating, each dog is different always start with easy stuff first particularly for dogs that’s are fearful or lacking confidence.
Walks
Each person in the household can go out with the dog once a day but this should only be for the dogs who are used to it or you can continue this in the future. If there are not multiple people in the house make the walk longer and focus on really good quality sniffing and what they enjoy, this is the tiring bit. Dogs that are used to being off lead, avoid situations where they interact with other dog or people as it could mean you break the social distancing rules because you have to go and get them. Instead keep them on lead but clip them on a different point on their lead or change to a slightly longer lead to imitate being off and work on just letting your dog take the lead, as if they are off lead let them take you on an adventure. If you control the snifari walk then you may start to build in frustration and could trigger behaviour problems in the future.
Socialisation
A lot of people are worrying about the lack of socialisation for their dog or puppy at this time but I myself am really not. I think for most dogs this is actually a blessing. Firstly if you have a dog that is anxious or stressed out normally on walks, do not start taking them out more than usual particularly as people are looking different at the moment this will add to their anxiety unless your road is much quieter now. Those of you with puppies social distancing is good and I recommend this in generally anyway for all puppies, for the unsure puppies distance is important to make them feel more confident this allows them to observe at a distance without being overwhelmed and choose whether to investigate, it also allows the over friendly puppies to read people and other dogs body language from a distance when they are saying I am not interested. Puppies that are not used people you can do exercises at home where you dress up getting them used to different out fits, hats, high visibility wear, glasses, fancy dress and of course masks most dogs may find these a little odd. Do take your puppies out at different times of the day.
For those dogs that are socialites and struggle keeping a distance this is the perfect time to really work on rewarding disengaging from dogs, don’t try and get their attention when they see them just wait until they do disengage and pay them a lot with multiple treats to their mouth and ground as you are moving away, no pulling them, even if this takes time, the trick is to stay at distances where they can disengage. Have a really good game after the walk with them, these are the dogs that may need play increased slightly.
Grooming
For those of you that have a dog that needs regular grooming, ensure you do this daily particularly if you usually rely on a groomer. It’s actually a great time to help them feel comfortable with it giving them short sessions and giving the choice to stop too. Pairing treats at every step even if it’s every brush and a tasty chew at the end, always give them other options when grooming put boxes, snuffle mats and kongs with food around during the session to allow them to have breaks. This is a great way to do regular check overs with your dogs.
My final note is like us dogs will get through this crisis, things will be different and there behaviour might change too but hopefully some of the above will help prevent this. Of cause if you are having specific behaviour problems and would like some advice I and many other trainers and behaviourist are still doing telephone, virtual-video sessions for training and behaviour and I do have a five week puppy course for those who have puppies and are concerned which I am now tailoring subjects to get puppies through this period.
There is a strong expectation in society that dogs should get along with every dog they meet.
Many people believe that socialisation means exposing puppies and dogs to as many other dogs as possible puppy parties, dog meet-ups, dog walkers and lots of time playing in parks.
The idea is that the more dogs they meet, the better socialised they will be.
But the reality is far more complex than that.
Dogs are individuals. Just like people, they have preferences, personalities and limits. Some enjoy interacting with lots of dogs, others prefer a small circle of familiar companions, and some simply aren’t that interested in socialising with unfamiliar dogs at all.
Unfortunately, the pressure we place on dogs to interact with every dog they meet can sometimes create the very problems we are trying to avoid.
Every Dog’s Experience of Socialisation Is Different
You could take five puppies to the same socialisation class and each one could have a completely different experience.
That experience depends on many factors:
their general emotional state
how they felt on the day
the behaviour of the other dogs
how their guardian handled the interaction
the guardian’s emotional state
whether anything startled them during the session
stress they may have experienced in the days beforehand
All of these things influence how a dog learns to feel about other dogs.
Two dogs can leave the same class with completely different feelings about social interaction.
The “Let Them Sort It Out” Myth
One piece of advice that still circulates widely is that dogs should simply be left to “sort it out themselves”.
In my experience, this can be hugely unfair, especially for puppies who are still learning about the world of dogs and the many different breeds and personalities they might encounter.
If a puppy repeatedly goes to the park and has unpleasant or overwhelming interactions, they are unlikely to grow up feeling relaxed around other dogs.
Using older dogs to “teach puppies manners” can also be problematic. Older dogs may be in pain, may have less energy, or simply may not want to interact anymore. Expecting them to constantly correct younger dogs puts them in a difficult position.
And what about the dog who has previously been attacked? Should they simply be expected to tolerate another dog charging up to them and ignoring their signals?
What I Often See in Parks
As a dog trainer and behaviourist working one-to-one with clients, I spend a lot of time in places where dogs and their guardians socialise.
This might be local parks such as St Mary’s Park, woodland walks, busy places like Ruislip Lido or Rickmansworth Aquadrome, country parks such as Black Park, Langley Park and Denham Country Park, large green spaces like Horsenden Hill, or simply everyday walks around the block.
One thing that becomes very clear is that there is a huge and varied dog-owning community.
But I also regularly see dogs who run up to every dog they encounter, whether that dog is on lead or off lead. These dogs are often highly aroused and may struggle to read other dogs’ body language.
Sometimes they bark in another dog’s face, repeatedly try to initiate interaction, or continue pestering even when the other dog is trying to disengage.
Often these dogs genuinely want to interact they just haven’t learned how to do so in a way that other dogs find comfortable.
When Dogs Feel Pressured to Socialise
When a dog feels overwhelmed or pressured during interactions, they will often try to diffuse the situation rather than escalate it.
Many guardians mistake these behaviours as signs that the dog is relaxed or playful, when in reality they can be signs of appeasement or stress.
Some examples include:
Fawning behaviours
Rolling onto their back
Excessive licking of another dog’s face
Crouching or lowering their body
Rapid tail wagging with a tense body
These behaviours are often attempts to signal “I’m not a threat” or “please don’t hurt me.”
Fooling about behaviours
Some dogs will suddenly become very silly or exaggerated in their movements bouncing, spinning, or acting overly playful. While this can sometimes look funny or entertaining to us, it can actually be a way of diffusing tension in a situation they find uncomfortable.
Dogs are incredibly skilled at trying to avoid conflict.
But if these signals are repeatedly ignored, the dog may eventually feel they have no option but to escalate to growling, barking or snapping.
When Dogs Try to Disengage
Dogs will often try to politely opt out of an interaction before things escalate.
They might:
look away
turn their body away
walk away
start sniffing the ground
move behind their guardian
These are all ways of saying “I’m not interested right now.” Or they are indicating for the other a dog to approach calmer.
If another dog continues to pursue them, that interaction can quickly become stressful.
In these situations it’s absolutely okay to increase distance and continue walking. You can also ask the other guardian to call their dog.
Advocating for your dog is part of keeping them safe.
Why Street Dogs Inspired This Blog
One reason I wanted to write this blog is the increasing number of street dogs I now see as clients.
Many of these dogs previously lived on the streets, where being able to communicate effectively with other dogs is essential for survival. Injuries or illness could be life-threatening, so avoiding conflict becomes incredibly important.
As a result, many street dogs are excellent communicators. They are often very skilled at reading subtle body language and defusing situations early.
When these dogs arrive here, they can initially find some of our pet dogs confusing and over stimulated, particularly those who rush over without reading signals.
This can sometimes make the street dog appear unsociable, when in reality they are simply navigating a very different social environment.
What I Encourage Instead
The interactions I aim for with the clients I work with are simple and relaxed.
Dogs approach, exchange information, have a brief sniff and then continue their walk.
Short, polite interactions.
Much like how we might briefly say hello to a neighbour as we pass them on the street.
Standing in a group in the middle of a park while dogs interact for long periods can often lead to rising arousal levels. When you step back and observe closely, you will often notice that at least one dog would actually prefer to move on.
Exploring the environment, sniffing and moving through the world at their own pace is often far more enriching for dogs than extended social interactions.
Want to Learn More About Play?
Dog play is a huge topic in itself, and understanding what healthy play looks like can make a big difference.
I’ve written a separate blog that explores dog play in more detail, including what to watch for and when to interrupt.
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