Dogs are little mirrors they watch us constantly and can reflect our behaviour. If you are excited and optimistic you often see your dogs energy increase they might get a little excited and playful. A classic way of seeing this is when we tell our dog they are a good boy/girl this is not about the words initially as they do not speak our language, its about the way we deliver the words and how we behave when we do it is positive happy energy. How we feel, our energy, and our confidence all directly influence our dogs.
Dogs are highly attuned to our body language, tone of voice, and even subtle changes in our energy and hormone levels through their amazing senses.
If you are someone whose energy is generally heightened and you’re constantly “on the go,” finding it difficult to relax, sit, or switch off, you may pace, feel restless or impatient, and struggle to wind down or sleep. Dogs can often mirror this arousal, which can make them more alert, more reactive to noises, and less able to rest even when tired, puppies generally will want to be close to care givers for a number of weeks and if this is our general state some puppies will not be getting the amount of rest they need. This can lead to increased connection-seeking behaviours, whining, over-arousal, over tiredness and unwanted behaviours.
If we feel stressed, restless, or anxious, or our moods are inconsistent or up and down, it can affect our dogs in a variety of ways. Puppies and adult dogs are highly sensitive to our energy and often mirror how we feel. They may:
- Mirror our anxiety – showing increased restlessness, whining, being more clingy
- Become defensive – in puppies, this can show as increased biting or mouthing, zoomies, growling, barking, stiff body language, or backing away or evening snapping
- Try to take a protective role – like warning things away, even when they aren’t confident enough.
- Become hesitant or less confident in new experiences.
- Show appeasement behaviours – such as jumping up, nudging, or licking repeatedly, in an attempt to calm us or resolve tension.
All of these behaviours can sometimes increase our frustration, making us think the dog is misbehaving, when in fact they are responding to our own behaviour and coping to uncertainty. Understanding this helps us stay patient and aware, and allows us to respond calmly, setting our puppies up for confidence, trust, and positive experiences
Conversely, when we are calm, relaxed and consistent, it helps dogs feel safe, relaxed, and confident, creating a more positive and trusting relationship.
This isn’t about being perfect or beating yourself up when you are having a bad day. It’s about awareness, so you can setup both you and your dog up for success. Even small shifts in your energy can make a big difference. Puppies’ brains are wired to read human social cues from around 3–4 weeks old, paying attention long before we think they are.
Puppies aren’t blank slates either. Genetics, early handling, and their mother’s environment shape their temperament. Some may naturally be more nervous or cautious, so it’s not all about how we bring them up, our behaviour alone doesn’t erase their past, but it can shape how they respond and grow. Being aware of how we act around them is very important as they are developing and when we are socialising them and exposing them to their new world. Calm, confident, and consistent energy helps dogs feel safe, reassured, and willing to engage. Research shows that puppies with sensitive temperaments are especially influenced by caregiver behaviour, learning more quickly when interactions are predictable and positive. Puppies are especially sensitive between 3–12 weeks of age, a key socialisation period where early experiences have a strong and lasting influence. Calm, positive guidance during this time helps build confidence and sets them up for success as they grow.
In the wild, puppies look to their mother for guidance. If a puppy starts barking, it glances back to see her reaction. Calm signals like grooming, relaxing, or simply observing tell the puppy there is no cause for concern. If the mother is tense or scared, the puppy responds accordingly. Calm signals = relaxation; tense signals = concern.
As caregivers, we naturally step into that parental role. When a puppy seems unsure or worried and we respond with a concerned expression, or we scoop them up too quickly before they have had a chance to recover or approach us they can feel more uneasy. Of course, we always want to be a safe place for them to come to when they choose if they are genuinely frightened or struggling, offering comfort builds trust and them seeing we are not concerned will in turn will help them learn. Its still about working at their pace if we pressure them into situations before they’re ready or fail to support them when they really need it, it can affect their confidence and even future recall, because they may not see us as their go-to source of safety.
This is also why rushing to stop a puppy barking especially because we’re worried about neighbours can backfire. Barking is often a natural response to something sudden or surprising. If we react with anxiety or tension, they learn there is something to be worried about. Staying neutral helps them understand the world is safe and there’s no need for alarm.
Feelings are contagious our dogs read us more than we realise, just like we pick up on someone else’s bad mood. Staying steady, calm, and available shows them they’re safe and supported.
If you nature is a certain way that’s ok, sometimes we you might be better at being the one that provides comfort or fun, you just might want to introduce somethings with your puppy being in the arms of the calmer handler in the house. You will see over time that your dogs may be calmer with one person in the house more than the other, that’s due to their general energy. Some dogs, whether or adults respond more to whoever is clear, calm, confident and consistent. Dogs are social learners; they take cues from humans just as they would from their littermates or mother, helping them decide how to react to new situations this is important information when you are taking them out and about. Dogs thrive under predictable routines and clear communication. Being mindful of your energy helps dogs trust and relax, and ensuring good experiences.
What matters most is awareness and checking in with yourself. It’s not about being perfect or suppressing your feelings dogs can tell when you’re faking it. It’s about pausing and noticing, especially when managing your dog’s behaviour or supporting them after a reaction to something in the environment. Training works best when we’re in a good state of mind. If you’re tired, frustrated, or anxious, pause, breathe, and reset stress and worry always show up in your patience. Taking breaks isn’t a weakness; it’s a tool that helps both you and your dog. Even a short pause can stop tension building. Give yourself permission to step back, especially with young puppies, and don’t hesitate to ask for support when you need it.
Research shows that dogs supported by calm, confident handlers become more resilient in new places, around noises, and with other dogs. Your energy matters just as much as your training or your voice. By staying aware, calm, and consistent, you help your dog grow in confidence, build trust, and feel secure. It’s not about getting everything right it’s about being present and willing to try again, doing your best with awareness and care, and knowing that if you have a tough day, you’re human and there’s always another chance. One of the lovely parts of this process is that the mindfulness you offer your dog often helps calm your own nervous system too. Many of us bring dogs into our lives for support, and the beautiful thing is that we can offer that same sense of safety back to them.
If you would like to chat with me or get support with your dog or puppy book in a call with me below.
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